do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
