I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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