After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize