you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
