He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
