Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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