Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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