After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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