We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
