we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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