Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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