what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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