Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
