Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize