After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
