when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
