if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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