Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
