it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
