where does the pee come out of this thing
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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