I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
