I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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