lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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