you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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