Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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