I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
