someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
