Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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