I can text with my tongue
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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