New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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