my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
