Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
