Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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