if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
as a side note pls kill me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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