i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize