I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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