I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
