At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
