Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
