I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
