Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Drunk is a universal language darling
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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