If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
