Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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