Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
