This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
