So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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