Me. At least after what I've been through.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
