It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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