dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
