After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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