I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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