elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
