she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
