Everything about him screamed your future.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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