Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
