I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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