I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
