just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
